The Hidden Strengths of a Struggling Generation
By Jack Vaughan
New research reveals that young people aren't as fragile as we think—and our attempts to protect them might be making things worse.
On a weekly basis, the headlines about youth mental health keep pouring in, and every week, the news seems to get worse. Teen suicide rates climbing. Students overwhelmed by anxiety. Young adults struggling to launch into independence. Nationwide, it has parents and providers wondering: What happened to resilience? What happened to grit? Where did we go wrong?
But what if we are asking the wrong questions? What if the problem isn't that this generation lacks resilience, but that we've systematically undermined their ability to develop it?
A growing body of new research suggests that young people today possess remarkable strengths that we've largely overlooked in our rush to pathologize their struggles. More provocatively, this research indicates that many of our well-intentioned efforts to help—from helicopter parenting to endless mental health interventions—may be part of the problem rather than the solution.
The Resilience We Don't See
While headlines focus relentlessly on rising rates of anxiety and depression among young people, researchers studying positive youth development paint a strikingly different picture. Recent studies reveal that 95% of youth ages 10 to 24 believe there are people in their lives who really care about them and 76% feel a sense of belonging with groups like friends or school. Most remarkably, 83% express optimism about their future—this despite living through a global pandemic, climate change anxiety, and unprecedented social and economic uncertainty (YMHT, 2025).
Even more surprising: recent CDC data shows that some mental health indicators among teens have actually begun to improve. The percentage of high school students reporting persistent sadness or hopelessness dropped from 42% in 2021 to 40% in 2023—the first decrease in over a decade. While these numbers remain troublingly high, they suggest that the trajectory may not be as inexorably negative as many assume. (CDC, 2024)
According to the work of Dr. Michael Ungar, the narrative that Gen Z is uniquely fragile doesn't match the data. As the number one Social Work scholar in the world, Dr. Ungar’s work, in particular, points to a generation with enormous capacity for growth; however, it is being undermined by environments that don't give them opportunities to demonstrate that capacity.
The Paradox of Protection
The contradiction becomes clearer when researchers examine what actually builds resilience in young people. Traditional wisdom suggests that protecting children from stress and failure will help them develop confidence and emotional stability. But mounting evidence suggests the opposite: that children who are shielded from manageable challenges often struggle more when they encounter inevitable difficulties later in life.
Scientists studying resilience have identified a crucial principle they call "antifragility"—the idea that some systems actually grow stronger under stress rather than merely surviving it. Young people, it turns out, are naturally antifragile. Their developing brains are designed to learn from adversity, to build neural pathways that help them cope with future challenges, to develop what researchers call "stress inoculation."
But antifragility only works when stress comes in manageable doses, paired with support and opportunities to recover. When parents rush to solve every problem their children encounter, when schools eliminate all opportunities for failure, when communities wrap young people in protective bubbles, they deny them the very experiences that build genuine resilience.
The research is stark: children who experience moderate, age-appropriate challenges in supportive environments show better emotional regulation, higher academic achievement, and greater life satisfaction than those who are systematically protected from difficulty. They're also less likely to develop anxiety disorders and depression in young adulthood.
The Status Revolution
Perhaps the most overlooked aspect of youth development is the profound importance of social status and respect. While adults often dismiss teenagers' concern with peer approval as superficial, neuroscience reveals that the adolescent brain is exquisitely attuned to social evaluation. The need for respect and recognition isn't vanity—it's a fundamental drive that, when properly channeled, can motivate extraordinary achievement. (NIH, 2016)
Research in positive youth development emphasizes what scientists call the "Five Cs": competence, confidence, connection, character, and caring. Young people who develop these qualities don't just avoid negative outcomes—they actively contribute to their communities and families. They "thrive" rather than merely "survive." (Harvard, 2025)
But thriving requires something that many young people today desperately lack: meaningful opportunities to demonstrate competence and earn respect. When we infantilize teenagers by making all their decisions for them, when we reduce their contributions to society to symbolic gestures rather than real responsibility, when we treat them as problems to be managed rather than resources to be developed, we cut them off from their primary source of motivation.
Studies of successful youth programs reveal a common thread: they all provide young people with chances to take on real responsibilities, to face genuine challenges, and to contribute meaningfully to something larger than themselves. Whether it's mentoring younger children, leading community service projects, or taking on significant roles in family businesses, young people who have opportunities to demonstrate competence show dramatically better outcomes across every measure of wellbeing. (Harvard, 2025)
The Right Questions
One of the most powerful tools for building resilience in young people is also one of the simplest: asking them questions instead of giving them answers.
This approach serves multiple functions. It demonstrates respect for young people's thinking processes. It helps them develop problem-solving skills by forcing them to articulate their reasoning. Most importantly, it builds what psychologists call "self-efficacy"—the belief that one can influence events affecting one's life.
When parents constantly provide solutions rather than asking questions, they inadvertently communicate that their children aren't capable of figuring things out themselves. When teachers focus on delivering information rather than encouraging discovery, they create passive learners rather than active thinkers. When coaches tell players exactly what to do in every situation rather than helping them read the game themselves, they produce followers rather than leaders.
The alternative isn't abandoning guidance altogether—it's shifting from being the answer provider to being the question asker. Instead of "Here's what you should do," it's "What options are you considering?" Instead of "This is wrong," it's "What do you think might happen if you tried that approach?" Instead of "You need to work harder," it's "What's making this feel difficult for you?"
The Purpose-Driven Life
Generation Z has been characterized as nihilistic and disengaged, but research suggests the opposite. Young people today are more concerned with social justice, environmental issues, and making a positive impact than any recent generation. They're not apathetic—they're looking for authentic ways to contribute to meaningful change.
The challenge is that many of the opportunities we provide for young people to "make a difference" feel superficial rather than substantive. Organizing beach cleanups and bake sales, while valuable, don't satisfy their deep need to address the systemic issues they see around them. When we give young people busy work disguised as purpose, we shouldn't be surprised when they become cynical.
Research on positive youth development emphasizes the importance of what scientists call "contribution"—the sixth C that emerges when young people develop the other five. When young people feel genuinely useful, when they can see the real impact of their efforts, when they're treated as partners rather than projects, they display remarkable energy and commitment.
This has profound implications for how we structure young people's lives. Instead of constantly asking what experiences will look good on college applications, we might ask what problems they're genuinely passionate about solving. Instead of focusing exclusively on their individual achievement, we might consider how their unique strengths could benefit their communities. Instead of treating their idealism as naive, we might see it as a renewable resource that could energize solutions to problems adults have accepted as intractable.
Reframing The Stress Narrative
Perhaps the most counterintuitive finding from resilience research is that stress itself isn't the enemy—it's how we think about stress that matters. Studies show that people who view stress as enhancing rather than debilitating actually perform better under pressure and experience fewer negative health effects. (Psych Today, 2017)
This "stress-is-enhancing" mindset can be taught, and it's particularly powerful with young people whose attitudes toward challenge are still forming. When parents model anxiety about every difficulty their children face, they're inadvertently teaching that stress is dangerous. When schools focus primarily on reducing student stress rather than building coping skills, they're preparing young people to avoid challenges rather than meet them.
The alternative isn't to dismiss young people's struggles or to romanticize suffering. It's to help them understand that feeling stressed before a big test, nervous about a social situation, or overwhelmed by a challenging project is not only normal—it's their body and mind preparing to perform at their best.
Research shows that young people who learn to interpret stress as excitement rather than anxiety actually perform better on tests and in social situations. They're also less likely to develop anxiety disorders and more likely to seek out challenging experiences that promote growth. (Researchgate, 2024)
The Collective Action Problem
Individual parents face what economists call a "collective action problem" when it comes to raising resilient children. No parent wants their child to be the only one walking to school while everyone else gets driven. No parent wants their teenager to be the only one without a smartphone while their peers are all connected. No parent wants their child to face challenges that other children are being protected from.
But research suggests that this protective arms race may be making all children less resilient, not more secure. When communities collectively lower expectations, eliminate challenges, and remove opportunities for independence, they create environments that are antithetical to healthy development.
The solution requires coordinated action—parents, schools, and communities working together to create environments that support healthy risk-taking, meaningful contribution, and age-appropriate independence. Some communities are already experimenting with this approach: schools that deliberately incorporate moderate stress into their curricula, neighborhoods that organize groups where children can explore independently, families that coordinate to establish similar expectations around technology use and independence.
The Long View
The research on positive youth development offers a fundamentally different way of thinking about young people—not as problems to be solved but as resources to be developed, not as fragile beings who need protection but as antifragile systems that grow stronger through appropriate challenges.
This shift in perspective has profound implications for how we parent and counsel. Instead of asking "How can I make this child's life easier?" we might ask "How can I help this child develop the skills to handle difficulty?" Instead of focusing exclusively on a given teen’s happiness in the moment, we might consider their resilience over the long term. Instead of seeing ourselves as protectors, we might see ourselves as coaches—people who believe in their potential and provide the support they need to achieve it.
The irony is that young people who are raised with high expectations and appropriate challenges are not only more resilient—they're also happier. They have higher self-esteem, better relationships, and greater life satisfaction than those who are constantly protected from difficulty. They're more likely to take healthy risks, more willing to persist through setbacks, and more confident in their ability to handle whatever life throws at them.
The generation that adults worry is too fragile to handle challenge may actually be hungry for it. The young people we've been trying to protect may be waiting for someone to believe in their strength. The crisis we think we're seeing may be less about their capacity and more about our willingness to let them use it.
In our rush to ensure that our children don't fail, we may have forgotten to teach them how to succeed. In our effort to protect them from pain, we may have prevented them from developing the very capabilities they need to thrive. The path forward isn't less support for young people—it's better support. Not lower expectations, but higher ones paired with the scaffolding to meet them.
The research is clear: this generation has extraordinary potential. The question is whether we have the courage to let them realize it.
A Helpful Resource
At YPM, our team has extensive experience successfully guiding adolescents, young adults and their families through the modern landscape of emerging adulthood. Spanning four continents, our work has helped hundreds of teens, and their families, connect with professional youth mentors and expert clinicians whom they can relate to and learn from.
Our highly skilled mentors are experts at helping their young clients foster engagement, accomplishment, meaning, and connection. Our innovative mentoring programs are specifically designed to help struggling youth learn from their failures, tap into their strengths, and activate their potential.
With our bespoke approach and discreet care, we can help your struggling loved one recalibrate their struggles so that they become a part of their growth process, rather than stifling it. Connect with us today to learn more about how we can help your struggling loved one achieve enduring wellness on their own terms and in their own communities.