At any given moment on this planet there are roughly as many ways to have a conversation as there are people (and that’s not including pets, plants, and other things we fancy talking to). But when it comes to change-based conversations (i.e., conversations where one person is trying to help another person make a positive change), there are three distinct styles to consider – directing, following, and guiding (Miller & Rollnick, 2013).

Welcome to the weird world of the righting reflex – the place where the physics of interpersonal communication no longer seem to make any sense, and you find yourself on the precipice of ripping your hair out in the name of good intentions.